Ahh... The joys of motherhood... Wait, what?

No, I don't have a child. I promise.
Let me just explain myself.
For my AP Psychology class, we were required to carry around a raw egg for 10 days. It was... Interesting, to say the least. One of the first things I realized is that, my goodness... It's difficult to bring something with you everywhere you go. Especially when that something (someone) is small enough to be overlooked, required to be watched by someone at all times, and- the worst part- very, VERY breakable. I was so sure I was going to crack the thing on the first day. Anyway, if we wanted extra credit, we could make a scrapbook. So, I did! I think it turned out pretty cute. :)
My child had a pretty sad story. He was diagnosed with Down's Syndrome, and then died of congenital heart failure at the age of 21. Depressing, right? But he had a pretty good life. His Down's syndrome was very mild. He played football in high school, and was known for being a great friend. He also got married to the love of his life, and experienced a little bit of college before he died. He was a professional Jazz pianist with a platinum album and he played the trumpet too (he was a prodigy with both from the very beginning). Mmm... I can dream, right? Anyway, I'd just like to make it clear that if I do have a child with Down's, I will love that child just as much as I would a child without it. A disability will not make him or her less my child.
Down's or no Down's, I'm pretty sure I won't have any child for at least 5 years... So there's still time to prepare. Haha. :)

Walkin' in a Winter Wonder- Oh. What? It isn't winter yet? Darn. :(

So... It snowed for the first time a couple weeks ago. But then it all melted. :(
Fear not though! I took pictures. :) I actually have a snowy poem too... But it's sad... I'll post it anyway.
I wrote it last year, trying to voice some feelings I couldn't figure out a way to express out loud. Anyhow, I'll stop with the description...


Snowstorm
The sky a blanket made of gray
a flake falls down of purest white
Another, then
and another,
following and bringing more
The snow falls softly
covering green
ground and roof
tree and road.


The color of the world grows simple-
Black and white and in-between
complexity disperses
and all
Makes sense for once.


Of a sudden
the world rushes back into color
No time for snow to melt
just to disappear
No clouds dissipate- 
They're already gone
Like Mother Nature changed
her mind
without notifying a 
soul.


The girl looks 
up from the formerly white ground
Confusion of the worst kind
fills her head
Am I crazy? 
But she knows she is not.


Sorrow consumes her and
she walks home
Alone.

Choreography

I watch your every move
And
Hope you're watching mine.
Sing my heart out...
Along with all these feelings that belong to you.

Really, they aren't your feelings-
You stole them.
But still, I
Sing,
Do tricks,
Dance for you...

And you-
You dance too.
Your dance is so similar
To mine
But somehow,
Your dance is so different
From mine.
The differences...
They shouldn't bother me,
But they do.

They seem to tell me,
"You can't dance like this!
Only I can!"

"Only I can!"
Like a spoiled, bratty child.

For a moment
I try.
I try to prove you wrong.
Defy you
Try to imitate your dance-
Move the way that you do.

But you were right...

I *can't* dance like that.

Only you can.

A tribute from a great man to another great man. :)

O Captain! My Captain!

Walt Whitman

O Captain my Captain! our fearful trip is done;

The ship has weathered every rack, the prize we sought is won;

The port is near, the bells I hear, the people all exulting,

While follow eyes the steady keel, the vessel grim and daring:

But O heart! heart! heart!

O the bleeding drops of red,

Where on the deck my Captain lies,

Fallen cold and dead.

O Captain! my Captain! rise up and hear the bells;

Rise up—for you the flag is flung—for you the bugle trills;

For you bouquets and ribboned wreaths—for you the shores a-crowding;

For you they call, the swaying mass, their eager faces turning;

Here Captain! dear father!

This arm beneath your head;

It is some dream that on the deck,

You’ve fallen cold and dead.

My Captain does not answer, his lips are pale and still;

My father does not feel my arm, he has no pulse nor will;

The ship is anchored safe and sound, its voyage closed and done;

From fearful trip, the victor ship, comes in with object won;

Exult, O shores, and ring, O bells!

But I, with mournful tread,

Walk the deck my Captain lies,

Fallen cold and dead.

This poem gives me the chills every time I read it.  I think that it's wonderful. :) I first heard it in the Robin Williams movie "Dead Poet's Society" - one of my favorite movies of all time. Walt Whitman wrote it in response to the death of Abraham Lincoln and the end of the Civil War. I have so much respect for what Abraham Lincoln did for our country. He was such an incredible example of what God wants us to do with our lives. For Whitman to recognize that like this... It's touching, I think. You can feel his respect through the words. Definitely one of my favorites. But then... I say that about all of them. :)

This makes my life a better place.

Another thought, I have recently discovered Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog... I am now in love with both the series itself and Neil Patrick Harris, who is, unfortunately, 1-way more famous than me, 2-like 10-15 years older than me, and 3-very much homosexual. Darn.... But I can still listen to his amazing voice. :) My favorite song is "My Eyes". Here's the first part, the others can be found the related videos after this one, or on Youtube. :) Enjoy!