today I

felt -

sick.
upset.
physical pain.
mental pain.
self-disappointment.
chilly.
anxious.
worried.
nervous.
sorry.


learned (or in some cases, relearned) -

I'm not always awesome at listening to reason.
It sucks to ostracize your best friend. Especially when he or she helps keep you sane/stable.
Satan is real, and he hates future missionaries. A lot.
Anxiety when your stomach is already sick is probably the worst ever.
For a supposedly intelligent person, I make some pretty dumb decisions.
Just because I want to do something doesn't mean I should do it.
I am incredibly selfish.
I might be a little bit heartless.
A fevered brain is not a reasonable brain. Neither is a been-awake-for-19-hours brain.
Things that I do don't just affect me... They affect those around me, too.
Satan knows my weaknesses...
I need an ego-check. Or several.
Listening to the Holy Ghost will always be a good idea. The Lord is always right.
Prayer is awesome.


listened to -

"In Rainbows" by Radiohead (twice)
"Kid A" by Radiohead
"Hospice" by The Antlers
"Turn on the Bright Lights" by Interpol
(And they were all amazing, holy cow. I'd listened to Kid A before, but none of the others. My best friend recommended them all to me and it's taken me this long to listen to them... None of them are necessarily super uplifting if you're not happy, because they're all pretty heavy. So... Consider that. And Hospice drops the f-bomb a few times... Also not uplifting. But holy cow. Music.)


read -

Mosiah 29 through Alma 5. Needed it.


Overall... Today wasn't the best day. This post is more for me than anyone else, but if you were affected by what I did yesterday, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

dear boys 10

Dear Owl City,

I'm glad we're friends.

Even if I don't love your music.

You're great.

All true,

Mumford

Dear Drama,

You encourage things to be difficult.

All I wanted was to be your friend.

With drama,

Robot

Dear Two,

...and now it's college.

I think things are working out.

Insert smiley face.

:)

With like,

Three

Dear Bowling,

The anxiety I get when you talk to me is absolutely irrational.

It makes my dating complex come to the surface...

Thank you for asking about my mission call.

I'll try to stop being afraid of you...

Really, so sorry,

Human

Dear Cameroon,

I had a ton of fun!

There should be a next time. :)

Thanks,

Playlist

Dear Wye Oak Pandora Station,

You make Spotify less of a necessity.

I less than three you.

<3,
Aficionado

v

gatsby is not a circus

I absolutely cannot express how terrified I am for this movie.

Somehow it escaped my knowledge that it was Baz Luhrmann's project until this morning.

I had been unbelievably excited previously - Gatsby is undoubtedly my favorite classic, and one of my favorite books in general. I heard about the movie, wondered how the chosen cast would do, and loved the stills that came out a few months ago.

But no matter how much I loved Moulin Rouge!, Romeo+Juliet is a travesty that cannot be forgotten. If he ruins Gatsby, I will have a long, sobby cry-fest.

I honestly feel like it could go either way. For the most part, the costumes look incredible. 

The music in the trailer is mostly terrible... But the scenery is magnificent, especially the eyes and glasses -  in the single shot of them that's shown in the trailer, they're exactly the way I've always imagined them.

 The props... Just look at that yellow car, it's perfect.

Basically, if Luhrmann follows the book, it'll be wonderful.

But after what he did with Romeo and Juliet, I'm worried.