in which i make a return

I say this every time, but... It's been a while. A good friend of mine encouraged me to get back into blogging a while ago, but I'm just now starting to feel motivated. Recent events have got me constantly pensive, and I crave somewhere to write things down, or at least express something! I don't know that they'll be of any help to anyone else, but the peace that I find in writing my jumble of thoughts down is something I don't find in many other activities. So! Let it be known. I'm back.

I'm still not totally sure what I want for this blog. My most recent posts (if you can call them recent!) have been 100% emotionally driven. I don't know that I always feel that passionately about sharing my thoughts. But... I'll figure it as time goes on I suppose!

As for today... I think I'll share a poem I heard today, that I really, really love. It's slam poetry, so I'll post a video of him performing it too because let's be real, slam poetry is a performance art!

RUDY FRANCISCO - LOVE POEM MEDLEY

I want you to bite my lip until I can no longer speak
And then suck my ex-girlfriend’s name out of my mouth just to make sure she never comes up in our conversations
I’m going to be honest, I’m not really a love poet
In fact, every time I try to write about love my hands cramp… just to show me how painful love can be
And sometimes my pencils break, just to prove to me that every now and then love takes a little more work than you planned
See I heard that love is blind so, I write all my poems in brail
And my poems are never actually finished because true love is endless
I always believed that real love is kind of like a super model before she’s air brushed;
It’s pure and imperfect, just the way that God intended
See I’m going to be honest, I’m not a love poet
But if I was to wake up tomorrow morning and decide that I really wanted to write about love I swear that my first poem…
It would be about you

About how I loved you the same way that I learned how to ride a bike: Scared
But reckless with no training wheels or elbow pads so my scars can tell the story of how I fell for you
You see, I’m not really a love poet
But if I was I’d write about how I see your face in every cloud and your reflection in every window
You see I’ve written like a million poems hoping that somehow maybe someway you’ll jump out of the page and be closer to me
Because if you were here, right now
I would massage your back until your skin sings songs that your lips don’t even know the words to

Until your heartbeat sounds like my last name and you smile like the pacific ocean
I want to drink the sunlight in your skin
If I was a love poet
I’d write about how you have the audacity to be beautiful
Even on days when everything around you is ugly
You see I’d write about your eyelashes and how they are like violin strings that play symphonies every time you blink

If I was a love poet
I’d write about how I melt in front of you like an ice sculpture
Every time I hear the vibration in your voice so whenever I see your name on the caller ID my heart
It plays hop scotch inside of my chest
Yo it climbs on to my ribs like monkey bars and I feel like a child all over again
I know this sounds strange but every now and then I pray that God somehow turns you back in to one of my ribs...
Just so that I would never have to spend an entire day without you

I swear, I’m not a love poet
But if I was to wake up tomorrow morning and decide that I really wanted to write about love
My first poem it would be about you
And after all of that she was like, so how do you feel about me?
And I said, put it like this:
I want to be your ex-boyfriend’s stunt man. I want to do everything that he never had the courage to do like… Trust you

I swear that when our lips touch I can taste the next sixty years of my life
And some days I want to swallow stacks of your pictures just so you can be a part of me for a little bit longer
If I could I would sample your smile and then I would let my heart beat
Do the bass line, we would create the greatest love song of all time
Whenever, we stand next to each other, love I was the only one made for you and you can be at last my Etta James
I’ll be oh child when you’re in pain or you could be candy coated drops of rain
Even though it never rains in Southern California
And together, we could be music

And when my friends ask if you’re my girlfriend
I’ll say no
She is my musician
And me… I’m her favorite song


It is so cheesy but man... The metaphors! The hopeless romantic in me cannot even take the goodness of this poem.

a change of plans

I don't even know where to start. It's been a while and so much has happened. Basically the point of this post is to ramble about how my post-mission life has not gone at all the way I planned. Mostly for me, but also for other people. A lot because I hate over-sharing on Facebook or other social media, and this is my place for my thoughts. Also, writing brings me clarity. So. Now that I've justified it sufficiently.

(Disclaimer: All statements below are expressions of opinion based on the time period about which they are written. I've received a lot of spiritual clarity since many of these and now consider them to be blessings in disguise, so if I sound bitter, please rest assured that I am currently loving my life and all of its unexpectedness.)

Let's start in September with the first plan that changed. I had been writing an elder from my mission who was just this fantastic individual and things were looking pretty positive. I figured I'd come home, date him but also date other people to make sure it was right, and, if all went the way I wanted it to, we'd end up together. Then I got home... And was terrified of dating. And lost all romantic feeling for anyone. It was like it was all too much for my system. After careful deliberation I broke the news to my elder and just... Tried to move on. I figured maybe the feelings I'd had would come back, or that I'd feel them for someone else, but they never did, to my marriage-hungry RM dismay. As often as I'd told people I wasn't ready to get married, I really did want it badly.

I went back to school in January after a difficult three months spent living in my parents' family room. I was convinced that moving back to Logan would be perfect and that everything would go the way I wanted it to. I'd find a boyfriend, I'd pass all my classes, I'd spend my weeks with my friends, I'd still be close to my friends from before the mission... Basically, it'd all be about me. I'm not sure at what point between Schipol and the Salt Lake City Airport I forgot that life isn't about me, but I did, somehow, and that was the biggest struggle this last semester - turning out. Helping other people instead of myself. Putting others (and God!) first. As I got lost in myself, the semester whizzed past, and I found myself taking finals and finishing projects. No boyfriend, no true social life, and few close friends, basically all for lack of trying. For lack of putting God in the first place and reaching out to those outside of myself.

As far as academics went, I felt confident. My grades were good. I knew I would pass every class, because I had worked hard to complete my coursework, and studied for tests. The week before finals week, I took a levels exam for music therapy. In order to start practicum and continue my music therapy courses in the fall, I needed to pass. I practiced, but probably not as much as I should have, and did not feel that it went well. However, I had not truly considered that I might fail, and found myself severely humbled the next day as I opened the letter that told me I would not be joining my classmates as they moved on, but would be required to take the exam again at the end of the fall semester.

A few months earlier I had applied and interviewed to be an EFY counselor, which is essentially my dream summer job. I heard nothing for months, and then when I finally did hear back from them, the answer was a no. It was hard. I debated staying in Logan and finding a job, but eventually decided to come home instead, something I hadn't really counted on as I hoped to be a counselor all summer. I couldn't find a job for weeks. When I finally did, it was part-time at a less-than-wonderful wage, but I decided to take it and look for a second one. I was offered a couple of others but none would work with the schedule of the job I already had or with school when it started back up, so I turned them down.

In all scenarios, I adjusted. I made the necessary tweaks to my plans and I moved on and life was fine. But honestly I didn't have a clue where the Lord was taking me with it all... Until about two weeks ago. I received a phone call asking me to come in to interview for an internship that I'd applied for at least a month prior. To be honest, I didn't even really remember anything about it other than that I'd applied, but I agreed to come in. I was invited back for a second interview, and the next week I was offered the position. The weird part? It goes through December, so I'll be living at home for the semester, taking classes online.

The only thing that truly worried me after accepting the internship was that my housing contract starts in August and goes to next August. I still plan on living up there starting in January, so I was concerned that I wouldn't be able to find anyone who was looking for a place for only fall. Lo and behold, my dear friend Kaycie sat next to a girl at church who was interested, and now she's taking it.

It's incredible to be able to see how God fits everything together so perfectly. Everything that would have prevented me from looking into this job was neatly pushed out of the way. If I'd been at EFY I wouldn't have applied for more jobs. Had I passed levels, it would have been harder to decide to stay home for the semester. I felt that I needed to come home instead of stay in Logan... And I didn't take any of the jobs that would have been more difficult to get out of in order to take this internship. I was able to figure out my housing contract.

I am so grateful to be reminded that our Heavenly Father is not only aware of me, but His hand is in my life DAILY. I am excited to see what else He has in store for me, and hopefully to eventually see why it is that I needed to get this internship. Basically... Just remember that God loves you, and is watching over you! Don't worry about how you think your plan is going. Just listen to Him. :)

hi, old friend

Well, with all the commotion of being home and figuring out how to live the RM (returned missionary) life... It took me a while to make it back here.

I've posted a couple of things over here, but the honest-to-goodness truth is that I don't really know what to post on what blog. I should probably just combine the two but it's hard. 

I guess it's hard for the same reason that being home is hard - life before the mission and life during the mission are two completely different things... But I love them both. And I don't know how to combine them without... Hurting their feelings. Haha. Obviously there are no real feelings to be hurt. But I guess it's almost like I'm afraid of offending my pre-mission self and my mission self. I want to be true to both of them. BUT I'M DIFFERENT! I can't be either of those people anymore.

So... There's the dilemma, then. Do I combine the two? Or do I keep two blogs and talk about all the different aspects of my life in different places?

via

freeze

Well, here is my last post on Tales of Garden Gnomes for 18 months!
I don't have much to say other than you can still follow me on my mission blog here, and that I will come back to this blog. Promise. :) This is not the last post of forever!

Now... I was featured today over here, thanks to the lovely Sister Dain Broadbent! She's super sweet, and her design? Yes. Love it. So much. I need some classes or something...

K! Y'all are wonderful. Keep in touch, k? My address for the MTC (next six weeks) -

Sister Kira Lynn Anjewierden

MTC Mailbox #269

BEL-NETH 0430

2005 N 900 E

Provo, UT 84604-1793

United States

PEACE.

newsies. but really just new.

Although I do so love that movie. Alan Menken is a wonderful individual who is responsible for some of my favorite music ever! Anyway. To the point.

I would like to publicly come out of the closet - I am a total graphic design nerd. I don't think I'm terribly good at it or anything, but I LOVE it. I love analyzing the design of other peoples' work and sitting for hours creating my own. I love art, but I had never really thought about computer-based art a ton until like a year ago, and now... It's bad. Haha. I'm addicted. A lost cause.

That said, I've been working on a new layout for a few weeks (slowly, when I haven't been working or in Montana, etc.)! It's not quite ready, but I'm really excited about it, haha. I have a few things finished, but I don't want to change things a little bit at a time, I want to get the whole thing up at the same time!

Anyhow, be on the lookout! It's going to be super different... So if you check in periodically, you'll notice... I promise. :)

skittish

Well, I cannot tell a lie - the new Blogger layout kind of scared me off. That and finishing the semester (yeaaah that's right). Anyway, I am back! And so is the old layout... We'll see how I handle the eventual transition.

Anyway, back to finishing my first year of college.

Wow. It feels weird to say that. Only three years left. Maybe.

In those four years I will do many things. 

Some might be:

-Learn more about myself

-Gain much more knowledge about my chosen field

-Fall in love

-Prepare for a mission

-Marriage (weird, and I'd rather not yet, but it could happen)

-Do super awesome research

-Meet about a zillion [more] great people

-Cry a lot

-Laugh until I cry, often

-Work several jobs

-Cross off a few Bucket List items (True Aggie and Aggie Ice Cream for sure!)

It's so odd to think that my life could take some drastic turns in these next few years. In two and a half, I could be out, serving the Lord wherever He wants me to serve. I could also be happily married. Or thinking about going to grad school.

Guess we'll see what the Lord has in store for me. :)

*trumpet fanfare*

Hey everyone!

I made a button! It's super fancy. I quite like it. A lot. Anyway, it's on mah sidebar if you desire to link here.

I am 90% sure that the biggest reason I want you to use it is because I like it. A lot. Though it's cool when you bring people to visit me, too.

Anyway, y'all are grand.

I am exhausted.

Speaking of being tired, have a song!

I love Lady Danville.

The End.

marvelous friday, yup.

Oh dearie. I'm rather horrible at this Monday thing. Some things never change, I suppose. 

This is why, though I just changed things up, I am discontinuing Marvelous Mondays. 

I used Marvelous Mondays as a way to get in a groove of blogging more often, but I feel like it has served its purpose, and I would now much rather just post whatever I feel like posting. 

I do not want to feel obligated to post on a certain day, or to post something in a specific format, like Marvelous Mondays have been. 

Actually, I think that this will help me to post more often - Marvelous Mondays tend to intimidate me because they take such a long time, so I put them off forever and then they don't get finished until the end of the week... Then it's not even Marvelous Monday, it's Marvelous all-of-Kira's week. Pff.

Anyway, I love you people who read this blog. Thank you for sticking with me as I figure it out. :)

new year = new marvelous mondays!

I'm changing up Marvelous Mondays. 

No longer will they be a million miles long and be super random and take forever!

From now on, they will include -

*One thing that is super lovely

*One picture of something awesome

*One word that is particularly fantastic

*One video that involves wonderful music

*One quote that is absolutely awe-inspiring

Here we go!

Something that is lovely:

Your friend leaving his Facebook logged in on your computer.

... And that wasn't even all of the comments. :)

Something that is awesome:

Beside reaffirming the fact that my sister is the most adorable/beautiful child ever, this picture screams "childhood" to me. And I love it.

Something that is fantastic:

agnomen

n. - additional name. agnomination, n. surname; punning; alliteration

Something that is wonderful:

If my life had a soundtrack... This would be the theme. So gorgeous. This song is a good 8 minutes long, but turn it on in the background while you do something. It's incredible.

Something that is awe-inspiring:

Thank you, Dr. King.

A good night to all!

Bittersweet...

Well, I ended my last shift at Convergys a couple of hours ago.

Before I expand on that, let me just explain a few things:

1. I hate taking customer service calls. People are jerks and they whine and cry and scream and yell and swear. They make me really mad. Also, I hate it when I can't fix their problem. It just sucks. Plus Comcast is a corporation and they're ripping people off and being all about the money, and... It's hard to work for something you don't believe in/like. I don't even watch TV....
2. I love the people at Convergys. My team lead and my trainer and all the friends I made through training and sitting by people on the call floor.... They're so amazing!
3. I am taking 15 credits at school. I have to take 15 credits because of this scholarship. It's annoying. I also have to do 5-10 hours of research weekly for said scholarship. Which is cool, but time consuming!
4. I have fallen asleep in approximately half of the classes that I have had in the past 2 week period since school started, due to less sleep than necessary (caused by a 30 hour work week added to everything else).

Needless to say... I was pretty justified in quitting, but there were a few weird things about it - 

• I am super excited to not take calls any longer.
• I am incredibly sad that I may not see my work friends ever again.
• Saying goodbye to my trainer was really hard. Likewise, it was hard to say goodbye to my team lead. I felt like I was letting them down, even though it was a necessary/justified decision. I really will miss all of the friends and awesome people I met at Convergys. :(
• I will probably never walk into that building again. So weird...
• My mouth will probably never again taste the words "Thank you for choosing Comcast where we know that our customers are awesome! I'm Kira and I'll be helping you out tonight. May I get the primary phone number on your account, area code first please?" and "I do apologize," and "I can definitely see how that's frustrating for ya," and "I'm gonna go ahead and send a signal to that box."
• I'm going to have all this free time... I don't know what that feels like!

Anyway, I'll be all right, but for now my brain is trying to adjust... I still feel like I'm scheduled for tomorrow!

Have you ever quit a job? How did you feel?

Marvelous Monday: {Back to School Edition}

So just a note here - This post was started last Monday, and finished just right now... So it's a hybrid. Haha. :) Two weeks together here. In my defense, I barely had time to breathe. Enjoy!


Guess what, y'all?

I started college!

Supas cool, right?

Yeah, pretty much. 

But before I get more into that, two things:

Awwww, little kids!

Awwww, cute proposal!

Men... You should be like Randy. :)

And also, I want to marry Kyle. What? I didn't say that.

Kid History is the best!

'Kay, commercial break over.

COLLEGE! :)

Things I loved about today:

-Umm hello, I started college! :)

-Music Therapy with Maureen Heaps... She's hilarious!

-Thinking about mantras

-Maxi dresses, or as Kari calls them, church pajamas

F21 $22.80

-Wearing dresses

-50 minutes classes!

-Finding thrifting buddies!

-Online window shopping!

-Going on adventures with old friends...

(Hannah!)

 

(Walker!)

-And with new ones. :)

 

(Alex!)

-This building (the Merrill-Cazier Library) 

-My roommates and neighbors :) 

(Lauren, Kaitlyn, Dalton, and Ben)

-The awesome things I find all around campus 

-Downtown Logan! Main street is the bomb. 

-Having days off of work, when I get to adventure with my friends even more :) 

(Eric!) 

(Alex and Eric drinkin' some tasty root beer) 

-Sitting on a couch outside a furniture store and waving at people in cars who are driving by. For an hour. :)

-Weird, quirky people who put signs like this in their yards 

-Wondering what this means 

-Family Home Evening (Ward style)! Dodgeball. With some extra rules. 

-These boys:

(Alex, Eric, and Daniel. Being creepsters.)

-This awesome collage. And also the school that it depicts. :) 

-This cool game that you play with just a cue and 8 pool balls! I fail at it. 

-Ending off the night with a fantastic movie. :) 

-Getting new clothing!

-Comfy clothes

-Wearing jeans instead of shorts because it's finally cool enough outside!

-Having my own practice room for an hour every weekday

-The fact that I get to play a Steinway to practice, even if it is an upright

-Having all music classes, except 2!

-Two Institute classes!

-New friends, old friends, and in between!

-Once again... Cute boys. :)

It all makes me feel like this:

(Only less grimace-y and more overjoyed)

Happy back to school, everybody. :)

I'm alive!

I realize that it hasn't actually been very long since my last post, but it really feels like it has been. I mean... No marvelous Monday? Whaaaat?

Let me just take a second to explain. :)

On Monday I packed up most of the rest of my room and moved up to Logan to live with my mom's cousin, Keli Nield, and her family (husband Ryck and kids Tanner (19) and Hannah (12)). 

I have already decided that Tanner is pretty much destined to be my newest best friend, because we're suuuuper similar. :) He even likes psychology. Winner, right there. :) 

Anyway, the whole family is fantastic. They've been so hospitable, and have really just taken me in and treat me like they do each other. It's been so great. :) 

Sadly my netbook, that I've had for a measly 2 weeks, got cracked on the way up here, so I've been out a computer. I'm currently using the Nield's family computer. 

'Cos they're awesome and said that I could. :)

Tuesday I had a little bit of stress right before work, but I got it all sorted out and got to work right on time! :) I was pretty nervous about the job and everything. At first, that is. 

Once I got in there, my trainer, JD, set me at ease within just the first few minutes. 

He is great, as is every member of my training class! In fact, my class is so great that we're an entire day ahead in our training. Yeah. That's right. We're cool. ;)

You know what? It's only been 5 days, and I already have friends that I know I'll keep for a long time; maybe even for life! The people really are fantastic. 

I'm actually excited to learn more, and to take calls, and just to come to work in general. :) 

Get this- My team lead (on the call floor. Essentially... My supervisor/boss) wears sweater vests. 

He's legit. :) And his name is Tannin. Imma always spell it with a ' at the end, so it's Tannin'. :)

Anyway, that's my update for now. I'm heading home in the morning for church and then we're off to Powder Mountain until Monday sometime. I shall try to post an MM, but if I don't...

I'll write one up and post it later. Haha. :) 

Have I ever mentioned that if you're reading my blog, I love you? 

I have? Oh. Well... I'll just say it again then. :) 

You people are awesome.

So much love.

Goodbye, my almost Summer...

I'll have to post some pictures of my room later... It's super atrocious right now. Why, you ask?

I got the job!

I will be taking customer support calls from Comcast customers for 6 hours, 5 days a week.
It's a little bit much... But I will survive it! $9.25/hr, with paid training... Can't turn that down.

I am officially moving on Monday. It's incredibly terrifying. I'm nowhere near ready, as my room will tell you... But I'm not ready emotionally or mentally yet either.
My brain still thinks that I have a bunch of summer left. Maybe it'll finally hit next week, after I've already lived there for a few days...

Anyhow, there are about 7 boxes chillin' in my room, half-full of a myriad of possessions... I didn't realize how much junk I had until last week. It's ridiculous.

Wanna know a secret?
I'm really going to miss being home.
Two weeks ago, I thought I had a month and a half to get ready to leave... I'm just not ready to pick up and go. I haven't had the time to prepare myself to leave my family, my house, my friends...

Farewell, half summer of 2011. You were awesome.


Psst... My title was inspired by this lovely song.

Reflecting...

Just Thinking

RF Hoak

Just sitting here and thinking, friend

And wondering how it would be

If I had not known you at all

And you had not met me.

All things we've shared would then be lost, 

The smiles and heartaches, too - 

The world would be a dreary place

If I had not known you.

But these fond memories through the years

All the fun times, too.

Just make me thankful you know me

And glad that I know you.

I received the above poem today from my neighbor, church leader, and friend, Kathryn Wardle, who is moving with her cute family to Boise, Idaho at the end of this week.
I love it, because it voices exactly what I've been feeling of late. So many people in my life are moving away, or going on missions, or taking different paths, and it's so strange.

People I've known almost my entire life.
People I've met along the journey thus far.
People I've only just met.
People I never got to know very well.
People I wish I'd introduced myself to.
People I admired from afar...
There are people from each category that I will never see again.
It's so weird.
And so sad.
And so scary.
Because so many of you are taking a different path than mine, I want to thank all of the people I've known these past seventeen and a half years.

All of you have changed me.
Impacted my life in some way.
Some lifted me up.
Some put me down.
But whether you befriended me,
hurt me,
complimented me,
spurned me,
loved me,
or hated me...
Every one of you helped me to grow into the person that I am today.
And for that, I thank you.

Marvel{ous} at this! {Mondayyyyyy}

Dear, dear lovelies.
Guess what?
I *graduate* from high school this week.
I have been so ready to graduate all year long.
And now... Though I'm ready to be done...
I don't feel ready to grow up.
After Thursday, I have to be an adult. Somewhat anyway.
I don't know if I want to do that yet. :(
I have not had a lovely high school experience...
These have not been the best years of my life...
But I've been taken care of.
I know that won't completely go away, but... I don't know.
I told my friend earlier that I probably just worry too much.
Don't get me wrong, I'm EXCITED as all get out!
Everything will work out, I know that. I'm just anxious, I suppose.


Anyway, I need to get my marvelous on. Today was a very Monday-ish Monday.
Things I loved about today:
-Sleeping in!
-50 points of extra credit in Psych, which brought me up to a solid A!
-Getting my yearbook early 'cos I'm a senior. :)
-Being questioned about prank texting... :)
-Good music. Like this song, which has been stuck in my head all day! :)

-Harmonizing with the radio, as always! It's the best!
-Not dying in a car accident. Even though traffic was awful and I thought I might!
-Seeing friends that I haven't seen in a long time.
-Wearing my cowboy boots. :)
-Having weird, awesome, philosophical text conversations.
-Pondering my life
-Scripture mastery memorization tools! :)
-Hemp bracelets.
-Rain when it's hot outside! It felt soooo good.
-Taking shoes off after getting a blister. Also feels soooo good. :)
-Feeling somewhat in shape.
-Feeling attractive!
-Coming to terms with my new haircut... We cut off a few inches last week and it's been weird!
-Summer weather! For some of the day anyway. :)
-The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints!
-Realizing that this week is super pointless and I can do things I want to instead of sitting in a classroom doing absolutely nothing because the teacher is just as worn out as all the students are.
-Wearing my nine-year-old brother's clothing. :)
-Things working out after they've failed for quite a while!


Life is so incredibly good... I have nothing to complain about. :)

Ha, April Fools!

So, as you can see, I changed the title back. I was feeling all cliche with my Sound of Music references...
And I was missing my gnomes. But it's okay! They're back! I would like to apologize for the disgusting, noisy, off-color banner... It will be fixed within the next few days, hopefully. It wouldn't save with enough quality in Paint. I need to figure out where we put Photoshop Elements...
Anyhow, my URL is back to gnombre.blogspot.com as well. Just in case you wanted to know. :)
Keep rockin', lovelies.

Changin' it up.

All righty. Within the next few days, the title "Tales of Garden Gnomes and Other Shiny Things" will officially be retired. In its place, some "My Favorite Things" line from The Sound of Music. Just to keep with my theme. :) I haven't decided what it will be yet, but... It'll be awesome. Let me know if you have ideas. :)
Other changes shall come to pass as well. But... They are to be determined. At a later time. When I don't have 2 weeks to finish online classes so that I can finish high school. Ha. Haha. Ha.
Yes.
Until then, my URL is the only thing that has actually changed - withbluesatinsash.blogspot.com.